What Would Your 80-Year-Old Self Do?
A few days ago I was texting with one of my best friends from undergrad. She had shared a situation coming up that she was struggling with, and she wasn’t sure how to move forward. So I asked her:
What would your 80-year-old self advise you to do?
This was an interesting thing to have popped out because a) it seemed to come from nowhere and b) I was going through my own situation and it hadn’t occurred to me to follow this advice at all.
(It’s such a fun human quirk that we are better at giving advice than taking our own, right?)
When this realization hit, I proceeded to ask my 80-year-old self what she would do in my own situation. The answer came back immediately. The coolest part? It wasn’t the advice that my present day self would’ve ever given, but it instantly felt correct.
I’m now convinced that if we all just consulted our wiser, more experienced selves (or even wiser, more experienced women in our lives?) all the time we would never be steered wrong.
(And stick with me here because we’ll get back to wise women in just a moment.)
In an effort to be very intentional about how I design my day-to-day while slow traveling full time, I spent the last few months before leaving Charlotte looking for an online learning experience that really lit me up.
Curiosity and learning are one of the four pillars of my authentic code (a TBM term that really just boils down to the things in life that I value most- the other three are community, adventure and health, in all forms) and so I knew I wanted to integrate active learning into my days.
First, I thought about learning a new language… but that’s something I’d prefer to do in a classroom setting with other people. I thought about cooking classes too but, same issue. Plus- I’ll save those for when we go abroad.
As I was reading Substack one day (a recurring theme?) I came across two women whose work I really love. Dr. Sharon Blackie and Satya Doyle Byock.
There is way too much to say about each of these women here, and I’d highly recommend you go check them out for yourself, but as a brief overview:
Dr. Blackie is an author and professor who focuses on women and mythology from the British Isles- what we can learn from those stories, how to use them to center ourselves (and perhaps not our partners/children/etc) in our own lives and how to look for them for guidance- especially moving through midlife.
In a word, witchy. I’m here for it.
Satya Doyle Byock is a Jungian scholar. I first heard about her on Elise Loehnen’s podcast as they grew up together in mystical Montana and are both now badasses in their own right.
Both of these women offer year-long intensive online classes that of course focus on their specialties. Because I couldn’t decide which one to take I did some more digging and found that if you sign up for a paid subscription on Substack, you get access to a taster class with Dr. Blackie (Myth Summer School) and to the year-long book study of Carl Jung’s Red Book with SDB.
Both experiences brought me something I didn’t know I needed: the presence and participation of many wise, older women.
(Ta-da! I told you we’d come back to it.)
In each class there have been around 80-100+ students. Of course you can see all of their faces on Zoom, especially if you move through the screen. Of those students, I’d say 75% or more are women in their 60’s, 70’s and beyond.
Hearing their perspectives, questions and insights has felt like water in a desert. The breadth and depth of their knowledge on Jungian psychology, his descent into chaos following his visions and everything that came after has been astounding.
Their opinions and insights into Celtic mythology and the role women played at that time- I’m learning so much from them, and in a way it has felt healing.
This is unsurprising- the voices we hear in media are often young (aside from our government, of course), white and male. When older women are referenced they are pigeonholed- either ‘sweet old lady’ or some version of ‘cantankerous.’ Their value seems to disappear along with their childbearing years- none of this is new and yet, isn’t it hilarious how wrong we’ve gotten all of it? And confounding? And awful?
I love that this unexpected and very much needed happy consequence has occurred. It feels like I’m getting a two-for-one deal: enthralling conversation around literature AND the presence and wisdom of the women I need to hear from the most.
So. The next time you are faced with a dilemma, I’d like to offer a free consultation with your 80-year-old self. And if you are already 80+, please know that we are all out here just hoping you’ll share your knowledge with us.
Cat-sitting, taking my niece and nephew to the climbing gym, cookies I made for them and family bowling.
Our Last Few Days in TN
In just a few days we’ll be officially setting off on our grand adventure! This Friday, we will start our 5-day trek north to Cape Breton, Nova Scotia- our first month long stay.
It’s been a wonderful few weeks in Cleveland, TN with family. I’m so grateful that I get to celebrate my 45th birthday with all of them on Wednesday before we leave, and that we’ve had a solid chunk of time to be together. We’ve had toddy time on the porch, my mom has introduced us to a new game called Five Crowns (which is a blast) and we’ve enjoyed fresh veggies from my dad’s garden.
All in all- fantastic.
I’m so excited to get started, but also want to soak up these last few days with family.
And as an aside, please do check out our Itinerary page and let us know if you’ll be nearby. We’d LOVE to connect over a hike, cup of coffee or cocktail!